No Grandma... Not the Scissors!

I'm still actually just shocked. I can't believe this actually happened but here it goes...

I just got my hair cut by Grandmother Time! I went to go get my hair cut and since the lady that normally cuts my hair wasn't around, I should have taken a hint and recognized a bad omen. So I causually just ask the reseptionist, "Have you got time for a walk-in?" She goes to check. She askes three different ladies if they would cut my hair. Most were leaving for the day and didn't have time. The receptionist seems a little flustered and a little hesitant. I don't really understand why, but I do now. She aproaches this little old lady sitting on a chair in the corner. I didn't even think this woman was a beautian. Being that she is "Wal-Mart greeter old" I figured she was there to get a weekly perm or something. When the girl from the counter askes her to cut my hair, you would have thought her grandchildren finally came to see her or something. She lights up like a Christmas Tree and tells me to come sit down. I'm pretty sure she is excited because she has been sitting there all day and I'm the first haircut she has given all week, if not all century. And as I pass the receptionist, out of the corner of my eye I imagined I saw her cringe.

I very patiently explain to Grandma that I just wanted to trim the sides and take about a half of an inch off the top. She seems to understand after I "speak up" and tell the whole salon. So, as she looks for all the tools she will need (rifling through drawers for five minutes) she emerges with the clippers. I'm instanly scared, because her hands are shaking. I'm not sure if it is just the excitement, the clippers, or the arthritis. She then proceeds to use the clippers to cut the sides of my hair... for twenty minutes. She spends ten minutes alone just trying to do the neck line. She just keeps cutting and cutting, then step back and take a look, and then cutting and cutting. So after what seemed like 6 years, she breaks out the scissors. I'm thinking, okay, this will be quicker, she only has to cut half an inch off. An inch and a half later, I'm pissed. I would be furious if I wasn't so scared.

Have you ever dropped a pen or something and instantly caught it with your wrist by slamming your arm up against the wall or desk, wedging the dropping item till you can recover it with your other hand? Of course you have. Would you ever do that with scissors? ON SOME ONE'S HEAD? Grandma drops the scissors TWICE and catches them with between her wrist and my head!!! I was in such a state of shock I didn't realize she cut my hair way too short. I was to busy trying to stay alive. I actually heard other people in the salon gasp when she dropped the scissors the first time.

Finally, she was done an hour after it started. I'm NOT exagerating. And what did it cost to have my life threatened and my hair butchered? $30. At least, if she was a Wal-Mart greeter she wouldn't have sharp objects.