I really need a hobbie for the summer. In the past I enjoyed the summer sun by cutting wood, mowing grass, or going to the drive-in with my friends. I never remember having to find things to do as I was usually working two jobs and doing chores in the summer. Now its different. I get off work and since I don't mow the grass, have another job, or do chores... I find myself needing an outdoor hobbie.
I'm looking for a new adventure. I love snowboarding and now being so close to Wilmont, Cascade, and Wasaw I have no doubt that I will be plenty busy this winter. But what about the summer? Is there something to do in the summer that is exciting? Do I need a motorcycle? Should I join a league? Play softball? I'm already sick of summer. Bring on the snow.
Already Sick of Summer
Unions and Reunions
At this point I am sure that the act of marriage produces a euphoric pheromone that has many of the same effects as alcohol or LSD. Jason got married Saturday and I feel like I just came off an acid trip or like it was all just one long drunken stupor. The whole process feels like a dream and yet I know it happened. I remember being happy and sad and worried and I think their was cake...
It's just such a mix of things going on. Like I was happy to see Mikey but was disappointed cause I remembered I missed his and Courtney's wedding cause I was in MO. I saw Tom and Jennifer, Neil and Amy, Kyle Wolf, Derek Reid, and I was really glad to see them but I missed them and realized I'm terrible at keeping up with old friends. I also realized I know a lot of people.
Its so much to take in. When you catch up with people there are relatives that have died, career changes, relationship drama, and the whole time I'm just hoping that I don't screw up someone else's big day. One weekend feels like a year with old friends. One person in particular I really wanted to catch up with... but we said like 5 words to each other.
It is just a very surreal experience. If I ever get married I think I'm going to elope. Then I can remind myself that it wasn't a dream by waking up next to the woman I love.... and having "the sex."
That sick feeling in your stomach
I almost had two anxiety attacks past week. One was from playing Doom 3 on X-box. I nearly had a heart attack at one point. It may be the most scary game I've ever played. There are just too many dark corners.
The second was a long time coming. I've been praying for the past year and a half for something that was missing in my life. I have always prided myself on having the ability to objectify anything. I can take myself out of something personally and talk about it like its just business. I have also developed some pretty thick skin. If someone said something hurtful to me rather than be hurt, I would just hurt them right back but take it up a notch to tell them to back off. I know just what buttons to push. On my personality test I scored 39 out of 100 on Mercy and Sensitivity. So I began praying for God to make me more "in touch with my feelings." unfortunately, God answers prayers.
I never realized how many feelings I would never allow myself to experience because they feel so crappy. I mean there are some great feelings out there, but it seems that some of them are almost unbearable. This is really scary for me. Over one year, I went from being a calloused A-hole, to feeling things very deeply.
The other night I watched the movie "The Notebook" with my parents. This is one of the best movies I've ever seen. And in the movie there was at least three points that were just heart wrenching. It was a freaking movie but I felt such deep emotion that my heart hurt and I started to cry. The logical side kicked in and I told myself, "It is stupid to cry over a movie" and "You don't want your parents to see you cry." like it is some kind of weakness. So I choked it down three times. By the third time I wanted to throw up, because now it hurts when it used to be very easy to just not feel it.
It's kind of a catch 22. I use the example (not that I'm bitter) but Molly was helping me and encouraging me to feel more, but at the same time she was used to me not being hurt by comments. So we would joke and she would say something that hurt my feelings and I would say to myself, "Why in the world would I want to feel this?" But then when I held Macy (friend's newborn baby) I loved that feeling. So it just sucks, but not.
The Teacher...
I have just read Tyler's blog post that is about cursive writing and oppressive teachers. I started to comment, but then had an epiphany and had to write a blog in response to the post.
As I started to think back on my teachers, I realized something weird and disturbing. I don't know if I was just lucky, or if I was just that nerdy. I loved my teachers. Well, not Mr. Stoyak. But I have had crush after crush on my teachers.
1st grade -- Mrs. Sparks would have us line up at the door everyday before we went home. On the way out the door she would whisper in each child's ear something encouraging, give us a hug, and have us kiss her on the check. I was in love. It broke my heart in 2nd grade to see those stupid 1st graders lining up at the door.
3rd-5th -- Mrs. Kelly was our music teacher. I was not in choir because I enjoyed singing "Under the Sea." She was the first person to teach me to sit quietly while the music of great composers washed over me. She would ruffle my hair when I did something right. Then I moved to Plano and my music teacher was a hag who made us listen to "Purple People Eater."
High School -- Mrs. Perini was our media arts teacher. She was hot, wore ripped jeans to school, and was a lot of fun. She helped with the senior play and in between performances the cast was partying and Mrs. Perini danced on top of one of the desks. Wow!
High School -- Mrs. Murray. Jeff and I signed up for Term Paper class. She would try to get the boys in the class to work harder by being flirtaceous and cute. I was in love, but still didn't work very hard because the class was easy.
College -- Holly (Kurka) Zehr. She made me reconsider poetry. She was my IDS section leader. She could give me a "C" on my paper, but write such nice things in the margin I didn't mind the poor grade. If she had not become Mrs. Zehr I would have stayed in college longer.
I miss school. What is wrong with me?
I think I just wet my pants
Yesterday was Mother's Day. I'm glad everyone had fun at their nice little dinners and tea times. We (Josh, Christy, Dad, Mom, me) packed up the car and went to Six Flags Great America. All I can say about this experience is "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
If you ever wonder when the best day to go to Six Flags is, it's Mother's Day. The longest we had to wait in line was 10 minutes at Super Man. We practically had the whole park to ourselves. This, like everything in life, had it's good and bad points. Given that we could walk on every ride we took advantage of this right off the bat. We rode Superman, Batman, V2, and Iron Wolf before we realized we were all about to throw up. Riding 4 coasters in under 40 minutes is not advisable.
So we started taking it easy and pretending to stand in line. We would sit down outside a ride for 20 minutes, then ride it. We also rode some tame rides like: the log ride, SPLASH WATER FALLS, and the fudge shop. Needless to say, we were done with the whole park in about 3 hours.
Probably the best part of my day was when we first arrived at Six Flags, we all went to use the restroom. I walked up to an open urinal and... uh... proceeded. My dad came up to the urinal next to me and lets out a rather loud, "AAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh." All ten men in the bathroom turn to look and then immediately exit. I'm trying really hard to control my laughter so I don't pee all over the wall. My dad looks at me, shrugs his shoulders and says, "What?!?" It then occurred to me that he didn't have his hearing aids in and probably doesn't know how loud he "Ahhh"ed. Poor guy.
Happy Mother's Day
The Professional Groomsman Secrets
HOW TO MAKE AN EMERGENCY RING
You will need the foil wrapper from a stick of chewing gum and a piece of tape. For a man's ring, use an entire wrapper; for a woman's ring, use a wrapper that has been cut in half lengthwise.
1. Remove the gum from the foil wrapper. Discard or chew the gum.
2. Smooth the foil on a flat surface. Flatten all wrinkles and folds.
3. Refold the wrapper lengthwise. Follow the existing crease lines and fold each of the longer sides up to meet in the middle, leaving the short ends unfolded.
4. Fold the wrapper in half lengthwise. The seams will be hidden in the middle.
5. Fold one end into a point.
6. Insert the point into the fold.
7. Fit the strip around your finger in the shape of a ring. Size the ring to a comfortable fit.
8. Secure the ring with a small piece of tape.
BE AWAREIf a gum wrapper is not available, or if you prefer a different color ring, you can use paper money. Select foreign currencies for a more dramatic palate. Other options (cut to fit) include candy bar wrappers, aluminum foil, writing paper, or bank checks.