Right now I am so furious that you know what I am going to do?!? NOTHING!!
I stopped by Taco Bell on my way home. We have one of the those KFC, Taco Bell Hybrids. And by hybrid I mean that it has an incomplete menu from both restaurants and everything tastes like fried chicken. The past three times I have gone to this Taco Bell my order has never been right. And it is always the same girl... Laura. She is evil.
She is this girl that looks like she is about sixteen. She is tanned beyond all recognition. And for some unknown reason her lips are the same color as her skin and it looks freakish. She walks around with this dull look on her face like she is too bored with life or she has been smoking pot.
The past three times I have gone through the drive-up she has been there. Like a super villain ready to thwart me. For a month now I have been trying to eat a "steak grilled stuffed burrito combo." This particular combo pairs a steak grilled stuffed burrito with a regular order of nachos and is accented by a large drink of your choice. The three times I have ordered it the results were:
1. A CHICKEN taco supreme and nacho supreme with medium drink.
2. A BEEF grilled stuffed burrito and nachos with a large drink.
(I even double checked it at the window because I knew the price was too cheap. "Are you SURE that it is steak?" "oh yeah, it is."
3. And finally today I received a regular crunchy steak taco, and a BEAN burrito supreme with no nachos!!!! The REALLY STUPID thing is that I looked at the receipt and it says Supreme steak taco and they gave me a regular one. THEY SCREWED UP THE ORDER THAT WAS WRONG!!! And right there at the top of the receipt is the name "Laura."
I was so dumbfounded, I thought of going inside, but was afraid of what they would do next. So I took my food home and bit into the bean burrito and it was COLD ON THE INSIDE.
I'M BEING TAUNTED BY THE SPAWN OF SATAN... LAURA!!!!!!
I will never again visit the drive-thru of this Taco Bell. Because I know that given these past experiences, Laura will be working at Taco Bell for the rest of her life, or until she tans herself to death. Therefore, never again will my order be safe at this establishment.
Clearly, this is "Nacho" (Not your) day
Lent
The experiment has failed, but I count it a success. I had decided that I was going to give up red meat and pop (soda) for lent. So I started by going Monday and just having one can of pop. Then Tuesday I had half a can. Yesterday and today, I had none. Let me share with you some things I have learned.
1. I drank a lot of green tea (with citrus) as a substitute beverage. No one told me it was a diuretic. Today I suddenly (and I'm sure you know what I mean) had to poop. In one swift bowel movement I cleansed my system. I can't tell you what it feels like to be alarmed at the size and amount of the bowel moment you just had.
2. I am not fun without chemical stimulation. I feel like "fun Bobby" on friends. Who wasn't fun unless he was drinking. After the caffeine was out of my system I became lethargic and unfocused.
3. Today, I entered a state of chemical withdrawal. Which combined with stress at work and other crappy things this week, has launched me into a state of melancholy, and mild depression.
4. I went to bed early and got up late.
5. During the brief periods that I was lucid, I felt very healthy. I believe I have flushed a lot of crap out of my system.
I am drinking a McDonald's Coke right now.
I am done with this experiment. It was short lived, but effective. I am cutting back my pop (soda) intake permanently.
Man you got to really want it
I am just overwhelmed sometimes with the effort it takes to be apart of the blogging community. Just yesterday I tried to comment on a friend's blog and couldn't do it. With added security to screen for the random visitor or the spammer, to comment I have to log-in (now blogger requires your whole e-mail), enter my password, and try to decipher the security "word". And let's be honest. It is never really a word. It is always a random assortment of letters that is pure gibberish and is in a font so weird that you can't tell the difference between I's and L's or V's and U's or g's and q's. So yesterday I tried to comment three times and I couldn't decipher the security word. I just gave up. And the comments remained zero.
I would like you all to take a quick look at my comments. They are haloscan comments and not blogger comments. I have no spam, no log-in, no security word. It is easy as pie to comment on my blog and I never get unwanted comments. Or if I do, I just delete them.
If you would like to live footloose and fancy free, go to www.haloscan.com and follow the instructions. Five minutes of your life will save me more time than you could imagine. And then I won't have to kill you.
Just to clarify my sanity
I just want to put this out there.
Under the Category:
THINGS THAT DON'T REALLY MATTER
Who is the next American Idol going to be?
- do you really care about who the fifth person off the bench is?
Who won a Grammy?
- like this has anything to do with talent...
Who won an Academy Award?
- it doesn't matter you've never seen the movie that wins.
- nor is it any good.
Under the Category:
VALENTINES DAY
No Sprint, I'm quite certain the most romantic thing you can do is NOT getting your girlfriend a red razor and locking her into a 2 year joint cell phone plan... nothing says "I love you" like a short leash.
Under the Category:
ANNA NICHOLE SMITH
How did she die?
-Really? You don't know how a drug abusing alcoholic, who advertises for a diet pill company just collapses and dies? I wonder what the cause was?
Who will get her daughter?
- Maybe if you payed more attention to what is happening to your kid, than what is happening to Anna's there would be less drug abusing alcoholics, who suddenly die.
Under the Category:
TIM HARDAWAY
- When did freedom of speech begin to mean that you can say anything you want as long as it is what everyone else wants to hear?
- I don't hate gay people, but I can't stand the preaching of tolerance by the homosexual community when they have no intention of tolerating anyone who disagrees with them.
Pope Pious Maximus Timothy XIX
Despite the fact that I am not catholic,
I am thinking of giving up meat for lent.
Discuss.