The Fair is a Veritable Smorgusbord- Orgusbord - Orgusbord

That's right. Last week was the Sandwich Fair. Where the crem' de la crem' of society come out to play and buy a deep-fried Snickers. Mullets and rattails as far as the eye can see. This has got to be one of my favorite things about summer. People actually say it's better than the state fair. Is it really? You'll just have to come find out. I have only been able to attend once the past six years, so I teamed up with a girl from my small group, Kimberly (don't call her Kim) and we single handedly tackled this orgy of fried foods and stuffed animal trophies.

We got our faces painted, ate a funnel cake (represent Super Dave), had a lemonade shake up, petted the llamas and camels, got bit by a goat, saw a 80 lbs pumpkin, rode the tilt-a-whiril and the visited the KKK sheep. For those of you city folk, when they shear the sheep they give them "sheep hoodies" to keep them warm. This looks awkwardly similar to Klan outfits... especially next to the burning crosses.

But my favorite fair activity has got to be the "mouse game." Don't tell PETA, but this has got to be the funniest thing I have ever seen. There is a game with a giant "wheel-of-fortune" style wheel that has different colors on it. On each slice of color there is a hole. Contestants bet on a color and the wheel is spun... fast. Then the carne smoothes his moustache and pulls out a little box. He drops the contents of this box into the middle of the wheel. The little white mouse hits the giant merry-go-round and instantly becomes dizzy. I'm honestly surprised every time that it doesn't just puke or go into little mouse seizures. After it works up the courage to move, it then stumbles to the nearest hole. If you bet on that hole, on that color, you win. But sometimes the wheel is going so fast the the little mouse is pretty much just flung to the outer edge by the centripetal force. Maybe it's cruel, but its funny every time.

(By the way, if you can name the movie that the title is from, I'll give you bonus points.)