These Stories Are Unrelated

First Day Back

I went snowboarding on Tuesday. I wanted to die on Wednesday. I did pretty well, I didn't fall much, but I was on black diamonds and I even did some five foot ramps in the terrain park. I was going to try a rail, but Eric fell right in front of me and I chickened out. I believe his exact words were, "Man, I actually could taste the blood on that one." But being the first day back this season... I'm so sore I can't move. Who wants to go snowboarding next Tuesday?

King Kong Wrong

I kidnapped Jason last night. His apartment was raided by pirate wenches. It was a long siege, but... sorry wrong story. Bethany (Jason's sister not ex-girl friend) won a drawing at a bridal show for a free pleasant pampering party particularly for persons of the female persuation. But it had to be in the Chicagoland area so Jason graciously gave up his apartment to his little sister. No matter how pleasant this particular pampering party was promising to be, Jason did not plan to partake in the peculiar pastes perpetuated by the person preparing the pleasureable pampering party. So he called me to rescue him. So I braved the two feet of slush (gross) and we went to AMC to see King Kong. We sat through at least twenty minutes of "pre-show entertainment" and four previews before the screen went blank and you heard the sound the jukebox makes when it goes down in movies. (that slow, power down noise). Everyone was trying to keep their cool, but inside we were all thinking the same thing, "I better get some free popcorn out of this." Then twenty minutes when by.... things started to get tense. I'm pretty sure at one point the guy in the projector room was mummified in the actual film. So they sent this poor guy to tell us they almost had it fixed, but it wasn't really. They started trying to show the movie and it was like watching someone try to start a car that hasn't run in years. The movie would start and then die, start and die. "Give it some gas!! No you're flooding it!!" So after waiting an hour (that I'll never get back) they just gave us a free ticket and sent us on our way. I wanted to beat someone senseless. Instead we got a milkshake. Not as satisfying as the beating.

Yellow Snow

I like to poor out Mountain Dew in strange places... like in front of people's cars in my apartment complex.