Oh Yeah... I remember now... I'm not cool.

So I've become a bit more metro-sexual since I moved back near the city. My new look is the suit jacket with the jeans. Of coarse if the "suit jacket me" met the "punk rock me" back in high school I'm pretty sure I'd kick my A$$, just on principle.

So, a few weeks ago I went to dinner with my friends Eric and Bivens. We were exiting Red Robin with our stomachs filled with burgers and strawberry lemonade (mmmm) when in one deft motion I nodded goodbye to the cute girl at the door, eased the door open with my foot, and put on my sunglasses without breaking stride. Eric, being the smart-elict we all have come to love, says to me, "Wow... Luke... you are almost too cool." This has since become a running gag that every time I do... well... anything Eric says, "He's so cool." Coupled with the fact that usually I have quite a large libido (ego) and my regular walk has been deemed a "strut" I can never escape the accusation.

Ah, but then reality sets in. You see, I can nod at girls all day long. I can wear cool clothes and do cool things as long as you are about fifty yards from me and don't speak. The other day I talked to a girl on the phone and was vividly reminded that "cool Luke" may be an alter ego. This girl called and I was 16 again. I would make jokes that really didn't make sense unless you could see the facial gestures and hand movements that go with them (and I thank God she didn't see them). It was one of those conversations that words just come out and you think "oh crap, did I just say that." I have no game. I have no skills. I was asked recently for relationship advice by a friend and when I told them they should ask someone else because I couldn't seem to hold a relationship they replied, "I know, but your theories are sound... you know... those who can't do teach." Today's lesson was brought to you by the number 12 and the letters "F" and "U".

I can be confident as all get out, but when it comes to this girl it feels like when your playing basketball and you mean to go right or fake right and go left, no fake right then left and fake left again, then do a spin move... but all you really do is make a weird face, jiggle your shoulders and fall down.

So I hung up the phone and just realized, "Oh yeah... I remember now... I'm not cool."