Magnum is here to see you...

It seems that lately the mustache is making a comeback. I think this, in large, is due to the popularity of ridiculous looking fashion and celebrities wanting to look like homeless people. Men arrogantly think that just anyone can grow a mustache. That is far from the truth. I have only seen a handful of mustaches that I would classify as "passable" in my life time.

The bottom line is that people don't fear the mustache as they should. The mustache is not a thing to be trifled with. The reactions that is causes are never mild. You are either that serial killer trying to make a good impression, or you are Magnum P.I. and there is no in between. I've seen mustaches ruin a look (I'm talking to you Brad Pitt), cause people to cringe, break up relationships, and take over whole countries. Oh, did you think that it was just coincidence that Hitler and Stalin had lip fairies.

Of coarse THE mustache belongs to Tom Selleck. I have never in my life encountered a mustache that is more groomed, more perfect, or more powerful. I realized this while I was watching the 1984 technological thriller "Runaway". This movie is bad. How bad is it? Gene Simmons (from Kiss) is the super smart super villain. But I was compelled to continue to watch for the same reason Magnum P.I. was a sex symbol. The same reason "Richard" on friends was so cool. For the same reason Mr. Baseball was awesome. And the reason movies like 3 Men and a Baby, Her Alibi, and Quigley Down Under were watchable.

My advice to you... don't grow a mustache. Leave that to Tom.