Can I tell you my deepest darkest fear? I spend my life communicating. Visual media, music, preaching it's all communication. I even wrote a few dumb books just for fun. I maintain this blog with funny stories and updates... I'm scared to death sometimes that I'll never say anything important. Truly important.
So I'm going to do it. Right now. Pay attention because this is true.
It's not what you say that is important... it is what you do that changes the world.
Just let that sink in for a moment.
It's not what you say that is important... it is what you do that changes the world.
Say Something...
Loo-a-vul
There are few things in this life more exhausting, more grueling, more... refreshing than a road trip. In my lifetime I've been on a few. At least enough to know they can change your life.
My first road trip was freshman year of high school. I drove with my family to Florida to spend two weeks in various places. Orlando, Clearwater, St. Augustine... it was a wonderful family vacation.
It was the first time I saw the ocean.
In college, my best friend Jeff planned a road trip of epic proportions. He grabbed a guy named Jason and me and told us his dream. Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Canada, Michigan, Wisconsin, and back. ONE WEEK. Just three guys, one car, and a whole lot of scenery.
It was when Jason became one of my best friends.
Later, Jason and Jeff and I reunited. This time we went west. We survived Kansas (just barely) to make it to Colorado. This trip was less hectic. This was a lot more music and mountains. This was a turning point in my soul. If the ocean made me feel small, the mountains made me truly see beauty for the first time.
It was when I fell in love with God's creation.
Just this last weekend, I took a break. I took a breath. There are people in my life that will always be special to me. Even though we have scattered across America, some in Indiana, some in Ohio, some on the East Coast, some in the South... They will always be special. So in the midst of my crazy, always on the go life... I went to Louisville (pronounced: Loo-a-vul). I drove to Lincoln, IL after worship team practice on Thursday night. And arriving at my destination around 11PM and knowing I had to get up at 6AM my friend Squeaky did what he could to make sure I got my rest. He threw a party. Which is exactly what I needed. No really. I thought I was going to be tired and drained the next day, but I wasn't. My soul was rested.
So at 6AM I picked up Alaina (a good friend) and we started our journey to Kentucky. There was music and pancakes and music and conversation. We only got lost once and five hours seemed like an eternity and a fleeting moment all at the same time. We arrived at Louisville and at SouthEast, one of the biggest churches I have ever seen. It was a good thing we brought our "southern teeth." We reunited with our long lost friend Amanda and got the full tour of the church. I was tired and took a nap on a couch. I woke up two hours later realizing that I was now apart of the tour, as the couch was located in the History Room and a tour was in progress. "And to your left you will see the bum on the couch under the historic news clippings."
The night was long, the conversations full of joy, and the rooms full of laughter. I had the best pork chops of my life at Molly Malone's Irish Pub. And the next day we were back on the road. Just one night. Just a couple of friends. Just a few hours sleep.
It was when I found some rest.
Have you taken a road trip yet? It will change you.
Valentine Smalentine
This was probably the most fun valentine's day I've had in a while. Along with the wonderful girls from my small group (Shout Outs to Bre, Charrisa, Shelly and Kimberly) I threw a party at my place. I went to Wal-Mart and got Valentines, heart shaped candles, balloons and party favors.
There was a Velcro dart board you could use to play kissing games. There were dice you could roll to snuggle or you could consult the magic 8 Ball Dateball. I personally found the magic dateball surprisingly lacking in optimism about my dating life and life in general. But the most infuriating part is that the most frequent answers given were "I don't know" and "Why Not." Thanks for the sage-like wisdom. Kimberly took the scratch cards I bought and made a fun game out of them. We played some games, had some food (aphrodisiacs) met some new people. All in all it was a good time. It was a nice distraction.
But it was still a distraction. I wasn't even feeling bad about being single all day. I was so excited about the party. But after it was over it hit. I was standing in my apartment deciding whether or not to clean up in the morning and "Fix You" by cold play was on the stereo. It was only then that it hit me that I had no one to end the night with. Not necessarily that I didn't have anyone to kiss or buy flowers for, but in the end I was still alone. This is the first time in a long time I've felt like this.
Just after Lindy and I broke up, I felt like this because I was used to her being there. Whether we spent the day together or not, I knew when I went to bed that she would be there the next day. Then she was gone (admittedly my choice) but it was still hard. I was alone. It's been more than a year since I felt that way, and I don't think I was ready for it. It was just sudden and unexpected at 11:30 at night. I just had a half of an hour left, but I couldn't make it.
I don't think it is terrible to be alone; it just sucks to feel alone. I don't know where
I'm going with this... I guess I just wasn't prepared for it.
Observation, Hypothesis, experimentation
Over the last two weeks I have conducted an experiment. I grew a beard. This has in fact been the most itchy period of my life... far surpassing the great poison ivy catastrophe of 89' and leaving in the dust the narcissistic Nair incident of 01'. So far I have correctly followed the Scientific Method, as taught at the eighth grade level.
Problem -- I get carded at Wal-Mart buying compressed air and rated R movies. At the age of 24 (soon to be 25) I do not resemble someone of, or over, the age of 17.
Observation -- Hey that guy has a beard. He looks old. Old people can grow facial hair that prepubescent boys cannot. People associate beards with age and wisdom.
Hypothesis -- If I grow a beard, I will not look like a prepubescent boy. I will seem wise bed, bath, and beyond my years.
Experiment Notes -- My face itches.
Stills itches.
This is infuriating.
Formulated Theory -- Beards, while giving you an older look... Suck to grow.
I think this experiment has about run its course.