Last week we left our hero in staff meeting. This week...
Staff meeting was a little rough as we were evaluating my ministry. Everyone was down to business until flames came out of Stan's butt. Patti thought it was because he was naked from the waist down behind his desk. I knew it was the drugs.
The Living Christmas Tree... I mean Barn
We are starting rehearsals for this year's "Living Christmas Tree" which is not really that anymore. It is a Broadway style musical that requires us to build a barn inside our auditorium. I've been listening to the same Christmas CD for eight hours. I would be really excited about it (it is a fantastic musical) but I have a billion things to do. I be excited later.
Renew Your Prescription Every Two Years
If you read my archives in February of 2007 you will find a story of Laura, who works at Taco Bell. To recap, this girl has no eyebrows, looks like a Muppet cause her skin and lips are the same color, is tanned beyond all recognition, and has a look on her face that makes her look like she could star in a movie called "safety scissors." So Eric and I went to Taco Bell to get a... well.. a taco. And of course, I went inside because I will never go through the drive-up since Laura must be writing a book on screwing up my order and the psychological effects. And so when I get in line, sure enough, she is working the drive-up window. We exchange a look that I'm sure Lex Luther and Superman exchange when they see each other at a distance when they show up at the same parties. I whisper to Eric, "That's that girl that I blogged about. The one that hasn't got my order right since January!" Eric replies to me, "Wow, she is hot!"
I slapped him in the face.
Christmas In August
I used to blog once a week
For all you long time bloggers out there:
Some time when you are bored (i.e. the server is down for 2 days) look over your archives. They are pretty interesting. Or you can look at my archives... they are spectacular.
Preaching to the choir:
If you can read this, I assume you are at least still interested in the blogging world. I was visiting my friends' links and noticed some bloggers haven't posted in many moons. If you do not respond to this post within thirty seconds of reading it, your link will be deleted, and your crush will never know that you really love them. Your lucky numbers are 56889, and 2.
These People Are Crazy:
Those of you that haven't listened to the podcast "These People Are Crazy" need to get a clue. If you don't have a clue, you could asks Blue for one. We haven't posted a podcast in forever. If you would like to hear more please leave comments on Tyler and Nick's blogs pestering them to podcast. Our goal is 50 comments on each blog. Not necessarily 50 people, but 50 comments, so feel free to leave 49 comments per blog. Ready Go!
My Pledge to You:
I pledge that I will at least think about blogging once a week. That is all.
How Long Can This Go On?
Writing this has been on my list of thing that I "Cannot Do" for awhile now for a number of reasons. But I'm just so sick of it.
I miss her.
I don't mean that this is a recent development. I mean I do miss her, and I have missed her the whole time. I have days that I barely think about it and days like today where I feel like I lost a huge piece of myself. I can feel my heart ache in my chest. How long can this go on?
I just feel like if I pretend long enough that it doesn't bother me that eventually it won't. Maybe she'd date someone else. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. But I pretend it doesn't bother me, cause I don't want to doubt my decision. It was the right decsion. Neither one of us was willing to budge... where can you go like that? So, if I'm not okay and confindent then that leaves room for doubt... and I would rather pretend than allow that. It would be easier if she would just learn to hate me. It's easier to deal with when you are angry. Blame me for giving up. Call me and tell me I'm a bastard. She called and wanted to keep trying, but if she couldn't fully trust me before, how could she now? If she kept one foot out cause she was afraid to get hurt before, how could she be fully in the relationship after this?
I talk about dating other people like it would be fun, but really it's just cheap fun to kill and bury hurt. It's not fun. I don't like being "out there". I'm angry cause she was so damn stubborn! But I could have given in. I was just sick of it. Why was I the one who always had to budge? Why couldn't I just continue and chalk it off to love. "Well, if you love someone, that's it... you just keep working." Is that true? Then why did we both need reasons? Why couldn't we both just do things for eachother because we asked? What was she so afraid of? I was afraid of being my mother: bitter toward my dad cause he never budged, so scared of something that he never expressed love like she did, scared cause he didn't know what he wanted. So, instead of bitter, I'm heart broken. And I have no one to blame but me. I stopped it. Why can't I stop this?
Can I say that? Can I feel like this? Can I believe in my decision and hurt this much? It must be possible, cause here I am. I told myself that someone else wouldn't take me for granted. That someone else would be easier. Together I was so frustrated and hurt that I felt like she kept a piece of herself from me and hid it. But now I have none. Which is better? I'm not sure.
All I know is that I'm not okay.
Surprise, Surprise
Some surprises are great.
"Oh, you didn't know... that's 70% off sir."
Some surprises are less than spectacular.
"Wait a minute... what's in this casserole?"
I just left the McDonald's drive-thru under the impression that I was leaving with a three dollar value meal featuring a double cheese burger, small fries, and medium coke. As I stuck my hand in the bad to eat the fries (those poor fries rarely make the journey home) I felt a packet of sauce. I retrieved the ticket and what was in my possession was a six dollar value meal built around a ten piece nugget and large everything. Great surprise? The only sauce was BBQ.
Any Dick, Jane, or Sally can tell you the only proper sauce to dip McNuggets in is Sweet and Sour sauce. Chicken Selects... sure... get the BBQ sauce or the gourmet honey mustard. But McNuggets are barely chicken and then should only be paired with S&S sauce.
The quality of this surprise is still under speculation.
BTW : There have been some conserns raised about my new template. Is anyone else having problems reading it besides people with Mac's or IBM's made in 1994? It should be a photo on the left and the text should be over black space on the right.