I Don't Know What Is Going On Anymore...

So, I was driving today in Naperville on route 59, so I obviously have time to think about WHY I CHOSE TO DRIVE IN NAPERVILLE ON 59! In front of me was a small sports car that was getting on my nerves. It was a 98 Talon or some kind of car they don't make anymore because they are small and the engine revs like a race car as it putts along at 35 mph. The simple idea of cars like that driven by guys in Oakley's and wife-beaters showing off his barbed wire tattoo is enough to make anyone furious, but I wasn't furious. I was annoyed.

You see every different car has different blinker patterns. Usually they correspond with the car type. A turn signal on a Lincoln Continental is perfect for Grandma because it blinks with the lethargy that matches the drivers attitude of "All get there someday... if I don't die." This turn signal blinked 90 times a minute!!! I was like, "Chill out... you're turning... I get it." It was so annoying, like some spastic yelping poodle, or some ADD kid all cracked out on Kool-Aid. Did the makers of this car just have too much coffee, or did they think this would be a selling point? This car is fast... everything about it is fast... the engine = fast... the tires = fast... the turn signal = so fast, it will send the person behind you into epileptic fits! Now that's fast!

I'm going to track down these people and eat their young.