Rite

Some of you are familiar with the tragic saga that is my brother. For those of you who are not... it is pretty tragic. The relationship between us can be summarized as thus: He does whatever is convenient for him in that moment, I try to do what is best. To an outsider this may look to be abusive. For us, it is tradition. It is not that he intends to hurt me, he just doesn't even consider the consequences to myself or any other person as long as it benefit's him. This seems like a cruel fate to have your own blood be poison, but it really has had a strange side effect.

I can't count how many times in one day I hear people say, "It shouldn't work like that" or "They shouldn't be like that." And I just tilt my head slightly, look them dead in the eye and say, "Why wouldn't it be like that?"

I think most people through tradition or perception can formulate an idea of how things "should be" in this world. Some even have a heightened sense of right and wrong. These people have a lot of rage. Because the world doesn't really work the way it should. But at some point, don't we incorporate that into our world view?

For example: Some one who is self-absorbed won't shut up about their new outfit long enough to ask you why you are in a bad mood. This makes you even more angry. You say, "I can't believe he/she didn't notice!" And I would say to you, "That person is self-absorbed, why would you expect them not to be self-absorbed today?"

So the side effect is that when I see situations and relationships I look at them from start to finish and see people for what they are. When you see someone for who they are, compassion sometimes replaces anger. Why wouldn't that person try to take advantage when they have been scammed their whole life? Of coarse she is fake, she has no friends and doesn't know how to be a friend. He is a jerk, he was yesterday and unless something changes, he will be one tomorrow... so why would that surprise or anger you?

The important thing is what we do in reaction. Because lets be honest most people won't change because someone gets angry with them. You can't make them see how much they hurt you. Even if the world comes crashing down around them they will never say, "Wow, (your name) was right!" There will never be any satisfaction through other people. So... can I do what is right, not for any other reason or person accept me? Can I do what is right even if it means I get trampled? If I comment back, if I get revenge, if I cut that person out of my life... what or who does that make me?

Predestined

I'm somewhere in between "it drives me crazy" and "actually it is kind of helpful."

Most guys that I know have a duck tale. I don't mean that fabulous show with the catchy theme song that I may or may not know all the words to... and you do too. And I don't mean an actually tale either. On our hairlines, there is this place where stupid meets annoying. It's formation is a mystery. On the even line or nice curve that our barbers and beauticians sculpt our hair into there is the piece that juts out ever so slightly and forms a reverse tear drop that I think looks like the tale of a duck. Some men are even blessed enough to have "the pitch fork" where the duck tale is flanked on both sides by two thick stripes of neck hair that grow down toward the shoulder blades.

(Lets pause for the ladies to throw up a little in their mouths)

So my question is... are we fighting nature here guys? Are we all really suppose to be jocking the rat tail? Socially the rat-tail is usually a badge that says, "Yes... I live in a trailer... it's a double-wide." But what if they are just not fighting it anymore? What if this is our destiny?

Curency

For all of the toys that I own and the vast supply of high-tech equipment I operate (and love) on a daily basis, sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong century.

In this season, the harvest season, the feeling is more prevalent. Men are working their land, bringing in the crops to sell for a fair price. Store some, use some for feed, and sell the rest to a country that can't decide if they want to eat it, smoke it, or use it for gas. Today, it is magnified I think by the state the economy is in. Farming seems like a simpler existence. It is timeless. Man toils with the earth to provide. I love reading books about a land in the time of kings and queens. Life was hard, but people worked the land and everyone contributed to the life of the village. If they were strong and diligent they celebrated living one more year.

Now it seems that the whole infrastructure and economy of, not only our country, but the world is being decided by imaginary money (credit) wielded by people who would have probably died in week one on the Oregon Trail. From what I can discern of this mess, which is not much, is that men in suits who deal in imaginary money made some poor calls. This means the government has to take our real money, money we earned, and give it to the men in suits and hope they decide to give loans again... to who? Us. The people who just gave our taxes to them. All in hopes that men will continue to trade pieces of businesses that none of them have ever worked at. I saw today that the market was doing good, until someone overheard the president of some financial institution say he was "thinking" about doing something, and the stocks plunged. Now people are going to get laid off because some guy was just "thinking" about making a decision.

To me, the solution to this is simple. We have to many worthless people making million dollar salaries screwing up our economy with their pretend money. If this was a simpler time, these people would actually have to contribute to society (make something of use), serve in an army, or starve in the winter. Some of the down falls of an increase in medical advances and the "sophistication" of our country is that the weak and crooked ones aren't being weeded out of the herd.

P.S. I know the whole country is going down the tubes, but I just bought gas for $3.20.

Now that is sexy.

Preoccupation

If one were to go into a gas station to pay for their purchases and recognize that the pregnant attendent is an old aquantence, what do you say? "What have you been up to?" just doesn't seem appropriate.

Paradigm

During our Labor Day cookout, I thought I had a stroke of genius. But as it turns out, my brilliance will not be lauded through song for a thousand years.

Our neighbors have a litter of five kittens. So with children in attendance I decided it would be a great idea to introduce small mammals into the mix. You know, shake things up. Little did I know that placing the paws of the smallest, cutest, orange ball of fur on my rug broke the seventh seal and signaled the beginning of Armageddon.

The beginning of the end started with a siren like wail emanating from Maggie. She was so excited to see the kitten that she thought that the best thing she could do to express herself was run at break-neck speeds directly at it, point a tiny chubby little finger in its face, and scream "KITTY" over and over as loud and at as high a frequency as she could reach. Elisha's reaction (as typical of little boys) was to quietly approach and touch. And by touch I mean go for the throat.

So the violent scramble of children, was met with an equally quick rush of adults to restrain the children before I had to walk next door and politely explain "Um... we broke your kitten." Once the children realized they would not get to beat the kitten senseless to express their heart-felt love and excitement, the floods came and there was weeping and gnashing of teeth. In order to put out the fire, I decided gasoline was the best solution. So I got another kitten so each child could sit with their own kitten closely supervised. This prison visitation style of kitten love, was not well received. Maggie was inconsolable and refused to use an inside-voice while Elisha had to be restrained while he shouted at his mother "Don't taze me bro!"

The whole situation ended with Maggie going home, Elisha being distracted by something shiny, and the adults falling in love with the gray kitten while Nick traumatized the orange one by putting it inside his child's hollow bat. Once it realized the bat cave was a refuge, it stayed in the bat and took a nap, or fell into a stress related coma... I'm not sure.

I just marveled that at one point in my own early life, in response to the question "What should I do?" my decion making paradigm probably encluded such options as: cry, run at it and scream, pick it up by the neck, make as much noise as possible, crap in my pants, put it in my mouth, and sit on it. If only I still responded in the same way.

Click here to see what happened to Nick.

Status

I find it refreshing when people give an honest status update. Whether through Facebook, or just when asked... "How are you?", honest and strait-forward answers are by far the most interesting.

This morning I exchanged these messages (via text) with a friend...

"How R U?"

"Hungry. You?"

"Sexy."

Also, to spice things up, you can include activities like video games, books, and movies in your status update, but be vague as to how these deeds were accomplished.

"What did you do today?"

"I went into work this morning, but things didn't pick up till this afternoon."

"Yeah? What did you do in the afternoon?"

"I started by laying siege to this castle, but that was taking too long, so I watched the police bust up a drug running cartel, and shot my friend Chris in the head since he was screwing around and not helping fight the Germans.... what an idiot."

And if you are wondering if I talk to my fiance' like this... I do.

Crash

Apparently the missing half of the slogan "Get You There" reads, "Get you (and only you) there, but you'll be hungry." Delta Airlines is now charging it's passengers for tickets, bags, and snacks... that's right... snacks. As if I didn't need one more reason not to fly Delta. So quite literally their only concern is to get your person to the destination with no regard for luggage or caring for you in the air.

When your organization is in trouble and the chips are down... every decision makes or breaks your future. And in my opinion only the bold survive.

Maybe it is lack of faith. Maybe it is fear. Maybe it is ulcers. But it is the same every time. A organization reaches an impasse. It has grown in size, it has to shift direction, it has to reevaluate, or it is in financial trouble. So the decision makers come to THE meeting to find THE answer. Whether or not the people in the room know it, they are there to only make one decision. They think they are there to talk about business models, vision, and damage control. But all of these are just HOW you are going to proceed. The question that needs answering is FORWARD or BACKWARD and there is no third direction. "Maintain" "Riding it out" are illusions. FORWARD or BACKWARD?

In this meeting, someone will make a bold suggestion. We should go after a new market. We should proceed. We should spend money to make money. We should be more active in the community. Lets bring in new blood. Of course, it is risky, but better to go out with a fight then die a slow death. This will be met with a few hesitant nods and some mixed mummers. The responsibility and sacrifice lies with the leadership of the organization... and that makes everyone uncomfortable.

Then the spineless will get their excuse to back down from the wormy guy in the corner... who, of course, was never really in favor of the things that has brought the organization to this point. You know, the guy who knew it all along. And he delivers his miracle. You know, we don't have to be responsible for the failure. We don't have to take risks that might put us in a tough spot. We can just pass the cost onto the customers. We don't need to grow, we need to start building the walls that hold out the problems and keep us safe (without considering the problems are inside the walls or even in the room). Lets charge for bags and snacks. If we make everyone else shoulder the cost, we don't have to sacrifice a thing. And even if the business, the church, or the organization fails we can milk it for at least a while longer.

FORWARD or BACKWARDS? Delta will crash. No one wants to pay $5 for a bag of chez-its. I'll fly Southwest who not only is not charging extra for bags and snacks, but is making it more comfortable to fly. And Southwest will grow and Delta will not. How do small-minded and tight-fisted men who lack vision get into positions of leadership?

Has anyone else been to this same meeting?

Service

Unbelievable.

I like to think that I have some empathy for people in the service industry. I apologetically hassled homes as a telemarketer for a short spell, cleaned up after students while washing dishes, and helped people eat fresh as a Sandwich Artist at Subway. I also was a waiter (server) at Cracker Barrel for one of the stranger portions of my life. I say strange because everyone working at the country fresh restaurant was either a Bible college student, an ex-stripper, a current stripper, or a combination of these. But never in all my years have I ever ignored a customer to the point that they would leave.

Unbelievable.

After a hard day of moving and playing video games, Tyler and I found ourselves craving a Frisco Melt and chili from Stake and Shake. Those of you that know the craving can sympathize. So we went to the local S & S, were greeted, were seated... and there we sat. We sat patiently for fifteen minutes. No one so much as looked in our direction. I guess the three servers, two cooks, and one manager were WAY too busy waiting on the other three parties that were there. The place was not busy. We were baffled. It was even more ridiculous that earlier we had left a restaurant at lunch... so we did it again. We just left and drove down the road to the other Steak and Shake by the mall.

Unbelievable.

Of course, this wouldn't be blog worthy if it didn't reach a level of ridiculous that is recognizable from space. And it did. We drove to the other Steak and Shake, were greeted, were seated... and there we sat. We sat for about five minutes... an other couple came in, were seated and their order was taken. We still sat there. Just as I was rising to go to my car to get the necessary materials to burn this place to the ground... they sent the trainee to wait on us. A crisis averted. I mean if one business's service sucks, you just go down the road, but what if all service sucks?

Foundation

The saying goes, "... it's like pizza. Even when it is bad it is still good." Pizza is just one of those things that is really hard to mess up. That doesn't mean that all pizza is made equal. Absolutely not. Some stand above the rest, each being appreciated for its superiority in its own subtle differences. For instance, I don't really enjoy Pizza Hut, however, their stuffed-crust is genius and the taco pizza is one of my favorite pies. Monicals thick crust?!? Is there such a thing?!? And if you want Chicago's deep dish you need to go to Gino's East or go home.

It seems you can put just about anything on pizza and it is tolerable. Toppings don't really make or break the pizza. It is the basics that count. Crust, spices, cheese and sauce. Make a pie with a weird topping and you can shrug it off as not great but still pizza. But, I have never in my life been more shocked than when I was duped into going to Emo's pizza. They make their pizza with provel cheese "St. Louis Style." It sucks. And anyone that says different is a dirty communist. You don't want to be a communist do you?

I just had a slice from a mom and pop pizza place someone offered me, and the sauce tastes like it was made in someone's arm pit... or Decatur. And it is always shocking to find pizza that is actually "bad" not just mediocre. But every time it happens, its not the toppings. It is the fundamentals that get lost in the quest for "interesting" dishes. So for all you up and coming pizza places... make sure you can walk before you run. And don't be a communist.

Reposition

Lord knows that by this time I should be an expert at moving. I've called hotel rooms "home" and lived by the graciousness of spare bedrooms more times then I wish to recall. My baggage is travel worn and I'm sure that post offices and DMVs all over the mid-west rue the day my name appeared on their forms. But the truth is, moving is not systematic. In fact, the art of relocation is an awkward dance that will stretch your endurance as much as it stretches your relationships.

Nothing just fits. The doors and corners aren't wide enough, and all the stuff in my life doesn't fit into this new space like it did in the old. But this is the way of change. You decide to move to the next space: a new house, a new job, a new relationship, a new marriage. Nothing just fits. It is push and pull. Some things stay. Others, even though they still work, just don't fit anymore... and they have to be stored away until their day rises again, or they simply have to go. Forcing doesn't work. I mean sometimes you have to use something until you can replace it, but you can't kid yourself... it doesn't look good with the new surroundings. And if you are combining two lives into one space... forget about simple.

Simple is overrated. Two people moving into one space is about compromise... not simple. It's no longer about what I want or what they want, but what fits best in this new location. Even though I own just enough plastic tubs to pack my life neatly into boxes, and I do, it is not just me anymore. New spaces come with new challenges and new opinions. Even your friends feel the effects. "Can you help me move?" The sounding horn of change is met with silence, resistance, and spite if it happens too often. Nothing is simple.

Some things in my life are becoming staples that will survive the move with me, but leases are temporary and change is a much inevitable as it is not permanent. Every change, every move is slightly awkward, but it is our ability to adapt that will make or break us.